Relationship: How do you know that you win "the break up"?
It's a very long title for a very long journal. If you wanna read about it, then yeah, keep reading, but you need make yourself comfortable first cause it gonna take you some times. If you just get dump or break up or even dumping your ex, you should probably read it till finish. Now, let's get started.
I don't know if you either get dump or dumping or making decision together with your ex to life separately, but what matter is, who win the break up?
Q1: Wait, there is a win after break up?
A1: Yap, there is.
There is a signs that you win the break up:
First, not bad mouthing about ex.
If you really move on, find peace, accept the reality and not into your ex anymore, you will not. I repeat, you will not bad mouthing about your ex. Why? If you still bothering about the fact that you two not together anymore you'll find something to make you feel better, it's call coping. You will coping yourself with doping (read: bad mouthing about your ex) like you said that they're not worthy for you, or you too good for them and stuff.
The reason you coping yourself is so you find peace and not remembering your ex anymore. If bad mouthing about them to yourself is not enough, you'll find your closes friends and bad mouthing about your ex and wanting them to tell you how crazypants your ex was. But apparently, you still not finding peace, so you come to everyone, I mean, every single breathing person that your ex is crazypants. You will state their name, where they live, how they treated you and in this state, you're not stating the fact about your ex and how badly they treated you, but you overreacted about everything so you get more attention and you find that you are a better person than they are. Even if you bad mouthing to them you still can't find peace, so you connect to people that use to getting touch with you and your ex and bad mouthing about your ex. But this time, it full of lies than reality, maybe it full of lies or maybe it 100% lies and imagination then reality. It's not about they anymore, it's about you. You can't move on so you need to blame them so you can find peace and move on.
If you bad mouthing about your ex, that mean YOU LOSE THE BREAK UP.
Q2: But experience is the best lesson that happen to our life, and it's better off if we share it to others. What if we just wanted to share it, and if we share it, it doesn't mean that we bad mouthing.
A2: it's a huge difference, brosis. Lemme explain...
What do you say if you bad mouthing about someone?
"Hey, do you know Lisa? She shave her chest hair yesterday and I see it with my own eyes. What kinda she have a chest hair?"
What do you say if you share story to others?
"Hey, do you think girl could have a chest hair? Why would you think they have one?"
Different huh? So... if you share your crap experience about your ex to others you will never say their name, you might just tell about the stories, places, but not their name cause you can't bear yourself to remembering their name because you already find peace and doesn't want to remembering them anymore.
Second, you achieve something bigger than before when you with them. (You become a better person than you was before)
If you sucks at math when you with them but you good at math after you break up with them that mean you achieve something bigger. Well, it's not just in grade or school, but also in appearance, your social relationship with others, or your carrier, or anything, anything counts.Even if it just a little part of your life or even your whole life change for goodness means YOU WIN THE BREAK UP.
You can be a better person after you broke up with your ex either because he a bad person or he giving a bad influence to you or you become a bad person if you together with them. Either than above or other reason, but you are better off without them.
Q3: But after the break up, I become an useless person
A3: if that happen, that means YOU LOSE THE BREAK UP
You have to prove to yourselves that you are worthy and you deserve to get something better. Even the babies walk after they crawling. Do you seriously wanna crawl for the rest of your life? I don't think so. Even it just a little, change your self become a good person. What if you're not realize it, but you growing to become a good person than you was before? Then it officially a good sign that you just won it. Either it conscious or unconscious, either you realize it or not.
Third, when you have new lover, they are better than your exes.
It's not just about their appearance, is their prettier or not. But also their personality, family, wealthy, lovely, and other bunch of stuff that you have in mind.
Come on, do you seriously gonna find someone who's even not as good as your exes? you can run, you can walk but you choose to crawl? Are you having new lover because you move on or they just a rebound? Even they just a rebound, can't you find someone better than your ex so you can move on to the next level, please? Seriously, you don't want to give your exes an entertainment do you? By dating with bunch random people who not as good as your exes meaning they can laughing at you because you can't metamorphose your self into a butterfly but you stuck in caterpillar stage, instead.
YOU WIN THE BREAK UP if you can find someone who better than your exes, that including someone who can make you happy, someone who can draw a smile into your face and your mind, not just draw a smile into your lips.
Fourth, you become a friend with your exes. If two people who used to be together are now being friends means either they still have feeling for each other or they never was.
Either you still have feeling or not, you are mature enough to realize that you are still can be in one place at the same without hurt feeling. Ya, it's gonna be awkward at first, but you can cooperate with your ex as people, as your friend, as your co-worker, as a colleague, or even as family, long distance family, long distance relative, or anything. You are mature enough to step aside your hurt feeling and anything you have have before. If you do, then YOU WIN THE BREAK UP. But if you're not, then you lose the break up.
Last but not least, you can forgive and forgot your exes. Once said that memories are last forever. I don't say that you can forgot everything about your ex. But if you still remember the memories but not the person that mean you forgot about your ex and it mean YOU WIN THE BREAK UP. Maybe you still can remember their face and their name with the memories they left behind, but you feel nothing but a good memories. You're not bother anymore with the fact that the one who gave you the memories also ruin your life for several months, you're not bother if he literally rob your money in the past because now you learn how to keep your money save so your new date can't lay a finger on it.
Own it, live it, love it. Hug, love and kisses, Sam.
I don't know if you either get dump or dumping or making decision together with your ex to life separately, but what matter is, who win the break up?
Q1: Wait, there is a win after break up?
A1: Yap, there is.
There is a signs that you win the break up:
First, not bad mouthing about ex.
If you really move on, find peace, accept the reality and not into your ex anymore, you will not. I repeat, you will not bad mouthing about your ex. Why? If you still bothering about the fact that you two not together anymore you'll find something to make you feel better, it's call coping. You will coping yourself with doping (read: bad mouthing about your ex) like you said that they're not worthy for you, or you too good for them and stuff.
The reason you coping yourself is so you find peace and not remembering your ex anymore. If bad mouthing about them to yourself is not enough, you'll find your closes friends and bad mouthing about your ex and wanting them to tell you how crazypants your ex was. But apparently, you still not finding peace, so you come to everyone, I mean, every single breathing person that your ex is crazypants. You will state their name, where they live, how they treated you and in this state, you're not stating the fact about your ex and how badly they treated you, but you overreacted about everything so you get more attention and you find that you are a better person than they are. Even if you bad mouthing to them you still can't find peace, so you connect to people that use to getting touch with you and your ex and bad mouthing about your ex. But this time, it full of lies than reality, maybe it full of lies or maybe it 100% lies and imagination then reality. It's not about they anymore, it's about you. You can't move on so you need to blame them so you can find peace and move on.
If you bad mouthing about your ex, that mean YOU LOSE THE BREAK UP.
Q2: But experience is the best lesson that happen to our life, and it's better off if we share it to others. What if we just wanted to share it, and if we share it, it doesn't mean that we bad mouthing.
A2: it's a huge difference, brosis. Lemme explain...
What do you say if you bad mouthing about someone?
"Hey, do you know Lisa? She shave her chest hair yesterday and I see it with my own eyes. What kinda she have a chest hair?"
What do you say if you share story to others?
"Hey, do you think girl could have a chest hair? Why would you think they have one?"
Different huh? So... if you share your crap experience about your ex to others you will never say their name, you might just tell about the stories, places, but not their name cause you can't bear yourself to remembering their name because you already find peace and doesn't want to remembering them anymore.
Second, you achieve something bigger than before when you with them. (You become a better person than you was before)
If you sucks at math when you with them but you good at math after you break up with them that mean you achieve something bigger. Well, it's not just in grade or school, but also in appearance, your social relationship with others, or your carrier, or anything, anything counts.Even if it just a little part of your life or even your whole life change for goodness means YOU WIN THE BREAK UP.
You can be a better person after you broke up with your ex either because he a bad person or he giving a bad influence to you or you become a bad person if you together with them. Either than above or other reason, but you are better off without them.
Q3: But after the break up, I become an useless person
A3: if that happen, that means YOU LOSE THE BREAK UP
You have to prove to yourselves that you are worthy and you deserve to get something better. Even the babies walk after they crawling. Do you seriously wanna crawl for the rest of your life? I don't think so. Even it just a little, change your self become a good person. What if you're not realize it, but you growing to become a good person than you was before? Then it officially a good sign that you just won it. Either it conscious or unconscious, either you realize it or not.
Third, when you have new lover, they are better than your exes.
It's not just about their appearance, is their prettier or not. But also their personality, family, wealthy, lovely, and other bunch of stuff that you have in mind.
Come on, do you seriously gonna find someone who's even not as good as your exes? you can run, you can walk but you choose to crawl? Are you having new lover because you move on or they just a rebound? Even they just a rebound, can't you find someone better than your ex so you can move on to the next level, please? Seriously, you don't want to give your exes an entertainment do you? By dating with bunch random people who not as good as your exes meaning they can laughing at you because you can't metamorphose your self into a butterfly but you stuck in caterpillar stage, instead.
YOU WIN THE BREAK UP if you can find someone who better than your exes, that including someone who can make you happy, someone who can draw a smile into your face and your mind, not just draw a smile into your lips.
Fourth, you become a friend with your exes. If two people who used to be together are now being friends means either they still have feeling for each other or they never was.
Either you still have feeling or not, you are mature enough to realize that you are still can be in one place at the same without hurt feeling. Ya, it's gonna be awkward at first, but you can cooperate with your ex as people, as your friend, as your co-worker, as a colleague, or even as family, long distance family, long distance relative, or anything. You are mature enough to step aside your hurt feeling and anything you have have before. If you do, then YOU WIN THE BREAK UP. But if you're not, then you lose the break up.
Last but not least, you can forgive and forgot your exes. Once said that memories are last forever. I don't say that you can forgot everything about your ex. But if you still remember the memories but not the person that mean you forgot about your ex and it mean YOU WIN THE BREAK UP. Maybe you still can remember their face and their name with the memories they left behind, but you feel nothing but a good memories. You're not bother anymore with the fact that the one who gave you the memories also ruin your life for several months, you're not bother if he literally rob your money in the past because now you learn how to keep your money save so your new date can't lay a finger on it.
Own it, live it, love it. Hug, love and kisses, Sam.
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